When I say I don't want to remember you,
I don't mean to say I want to forget
how every time your fingertips
ropeway down my skin,
my skin draws hieroglyphs upon itself,
hoping that someday,
a hundred epiphanies later,
you'd take a closer
look at them and decode the love
my mouth could never bring itself to confess.
When I say I've had enough,
I'm trying to talk about
the Hula hoops your words make around me.
They enclose me with frenzied excitement, they flirt with my waist,
I'm lost in the rhythm,
they slow down and then they collapse.
Two, three, four, five,
We become fizzled out firecrackers
struggling to swim out of the ash
you left behind.
When I say I want to leave,
I don't mention the 11 times
my love sat perched atop
cold rooftops on hopeless evenings,
threatening to fly away.
You let it go, you knew
it'd always come back to you
fondling stupid excuses
underneath its wings,
diligently defending all the things you said
and covering for the ones you didn't.
When I say I don't want you anymore,
I don't talk about the days when
you were the first thing I snatched
from my wishlist the minute a lonely little
eyelash hugged my cheek.
I pluck them all out,
one by one,
wish after wish,
crying to make the pain stop,
which is to say that when you left
your absence only expanded,
until one day the void grew so large
that it swallowed me up.
When I say I need closure,
I mean to say that I need you to stop.
I need you to stop filling the holes
in my heart with caramel-dipped lies.
[Continued in comments]
TrafficLives - Poem written by Chaitanya Varier