Not the greatest pull workout. Did the main work last night and the accessories this afternoon.
Lifting weights with a defined purpose is different than lifting weights as a hobby, to look good on vacation, impress someone, or as a stress reliever. It still is all of those other things, but yesterday I was just not in it mentally and had to grind it the fk out.
The whole time in the back of my mind is the reality of it. I will never be famous, never be paid for this, I'm past my prime and just getting older. If I catch an injury I will never come back. I will never be competitive on a professional level, this takes crucial time away from businesses and family. I literally do not have time for this shit!
The underlying reason I can't treat it like the useless hobby it might be is because I would never forgive myself for not laying it all out there and leaving a total out there that truly represents what I was able to do.
I would take no comfort, no solace, and no peace in missing a set or stopping for the night and picking it up next week.
Thankful for the unshakeable support from the people in my corner! I understand that I am exhausting and hard to understand. Not once have I been told that I'm big enough and shouldn't worry about it, or that it doesn't make any sense that a new opportunities would drive you to panic!
Ahaha they're so lucky huh! I did add another 5lbs to my pull up routine!