The most growth and deeper self connection and fulfilment I’ve had has involved sex and relationships, guilt and shame..... ‘funny’ how that also filters out into every single other area of life. (Not a coincidence)
To understand at deeper and deeper levels of why you attract and are attracted to the people you are, wether that has a ‘positive’ or ‘negative’ outcome, there is always a reason that you’ve attracted that.
Attraction can be through many forms and if you just listen to your initial response, chemical reaction, flutter feelings, you’re missing the deeper connection of why.
It could be attraction though emotional wounds, attracting the same shit over and over because you’re not going deeper and learning the lessons for you to grow and then you complain that you just attract the same shit and are left frustrated wondering why which can lead to you tarnishing all men or women with the same brush because of your own experiences and reality of sex and relationships.
Through loneliness because you’re not good with yourself fully first and you feel something is missing so you can be highly likely to even MAKE yourself attach to someone/ convince you like someone by abandoning your values and standards and settle for a mediocre connection.
Through neediness, neediness is NOT attractive, it gives off an ‘icky’ energy and will also likely mean you will easily abandon yourself to please, be liked, do what you have to to fill your neediness void from outside regardless of the consequences instead of reflecting that back inside and doing whatever work you get to do around that.
Through surface level connection, which often comes from our own surface level connection to ourselves, don’t have that with yourself first, good luck getting from another person, and repeat a cycle of filling voids that will never be filled and can never be filled by someone else, you’ll be looking to another to fulfil a need that only you can provide but fall for the illusion that this lies within another person to provide you so you will go looking for something that doesn’t exist externally.